A Few Life Lessons (so far)

Saturday May 10, 2008

Thank you Scott, and thank you Michael, faculty, parents, family members, friends and especially you, distinguished graduates of the ECU School of Art and Design.

You know, hearing your life story read aloud is awfully humbling. It’s so tightly edited that it sounds planned, smart and well…uncluttered. And let me tell you, my life so far has been anything but uncluttered. Bios gloss over the details and just hit the high points. Because of that they fall terribly shy of day-to-day living. After all, if God is in the details, then life is in the tiny crevices of those details. That’s the part I think is important.

Some of us are painters, sculptors or other fine artists; others are designers, animators, photographers or other creative disciplines. There are tons of differences between our various practice areas. However, one major thing we share is the blank page. Specifically, the fear of the blank page. I hate the blank page. Is there anything more intimidating? You have finely crafted your academic career and today you start to deal with the blank page of your professional career. I’ve come back today to share a few life lessons that may help you along the way. I’ve made every mistake in the book…twice! I’m pretty experienced in screwing up. I guess that qualifies me as someone who can stand up here and dispense advice.

I have to tell you, I’m humbled by this opportunity to speak with you. If I screw this up, you’ll curse me forever. I haven’t taken that lightly. I hope you have strong opinions and I hope you challenge my opinions because that shows you care and you have deep passion. That goes a long way.

So the last class of your college career starts with this lesson:

Lesson 1: Know what’s next

A long time ago, when I was in 7th grade I got a taste of my future career. I drew portraits of the band KISS. No commission, just loved to draw and spent well over two hours on this drawing.

The next day I took it to school and showed it to my friends in social studies class. There was enough positive response that gave me an idea. “I’ll ask my mom to make Xerox copies,” I thought. “Then I can sell them to my classmates.” The next day mom took my masterpiece to work and made fifty black and white copies. The following day I came to class and sold every copy for ten cents each. Those of you quick with math will quickly see that my incredible talent and business savvy netted me a whooping five bucks in dimes. I asked mom, now known as “benefactor”, to copy more. She did and I made a few more dollars. I can only imagine how ingenious this sweet, little Baptist lady was to sneak personal copies of these Kabuki-faced Satan warriors for her prepubescent kid to sale at middle school.

Lesson learned: There’s value in creativity.

Not everyone can draw pictures of cheesy musicians but are willing to pay someone who can. Okay, so I figured out how to make piles of dimes from art. I had to figure my next move, which was learning how to make a job out of drawing KISS.

Flash-forward to one week before my college graduation. Probably not unlike your last few weeks, I spent a lot of time with my classmates and my best friend caffeine. One night around 3 am we were hanging out in the senior studio and a classmate asked me what I was going to do after graduation. Hmmm, I thought. I don’t know. I’ve known since I was 14 that I was going to draw pictures of KISS for money. And I furthered that career goal by attending this well-respected school. I had that well secured but I didn’t think about what’s next. I assumed I would get a job and start working. Unfortunately, I didn’t know how. And I could feel school sinking behind the horizon. Who would be there to guide me, or to tell me how to get to work, or tell me I can do better or to make me ask what if…?

I soon discovered the answer. The lessons learned here would stay with me. I had been given the tools to figure it out. To always ask what if. To always want to know what’s next.

Okay what’s next?

Lesson 2: Soak up life

Eat, drink, bathe in, roll around in, touch, hear, squish between your toes and experience everything you can. The world is pretty wild no doubt. Experience is your friend. Do not stay in your studio or behind your desk. Get out. Discover a new thing every day. Bring that experience back to your work. You’ll be more rounded, have a deeper soul and will be able to pretty much hold your own at any cocktail party. Seek inspiration everywhere. You’re always on. I believe original ideas come from original inspiration. This will be one of the most important aspects of your career. Soak up life. Experience different cultures, foods, languages…everything. Don’t be afraid to try anything. As a photography student here, I was taught to get up high or, to get down low. Change your point of view for more interest. You’ll find these are the details that really matter.

Speaking of things that matter…with slightly less than five minutes into this speech, I have to let you in on a little alumni secret that we all know and now you will. Grades don’t matter. I’m not saying you shouldn’t always do your best or that good grades aren’t a sign of accomplishment. You should and they are! But for most practical purposes, after today no one cares about your SAT or GPA.

“What! Grades don’t matter? Why did I get up early to have this hillbilly tell me something that I could have slept through?”

Look, you came here to expand your mind, develop your career, form meaningful relationships and learn to think. Even if you’re a 4.0 student, that number still does nothing to demonstrate the value of what you’ve achieved by sitting in this room this morning. So is there evidence to this whole grade devaluation conspiracy?

Well, you’re looking at him. I wasn’t particularly dense. I was dense enough mind you, it’s just I didn’t care about things like math and English composition. So I took Math Lab twice before I could exit only to get a D in Algebra 1. I was the only person in my first year English class to fail the grammar exit exam. So, after about 20 minutes of being a victim I realized you make your own opportunities. I figured how to apply math in a meaningful way. I buckled down in English composition and learned the extraordinary value of good writing. I was going to be passionate about as many things as possible. I wanted to be a constant student of the world around me. To learn. To do. To make a difference.

Another reason that you should promise yourself today to start soaking up every bit of life is the realization that no one promises you tomorrow. Please do not ever say, “One day I’ll do this or that.” Don’t wait!

My mother, the sweet KISS copier lady, was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease at a very early age. I was in college when she started showing signs of dementia. Slowly her memory was robbed, then her independence, then her dignity, finally her life. Like your parents, her dream was to see her child graduate from ECU. Luckily she saw that. She also saw me start my own business.

By the time I married, she was in a nursing home ravaged by this horrible disease. Her first and only grandchild was born two years after her death. Somewhere in that time I promised myself I would not let an opportunity pass. I was going to soak up everything I could. That’s gotten me into interesting situations.

I’ve worked with politicians, CEOs of giant corporations, history makers, famous actors and have even been shown a secret sorority handshake by bad boy rockers Guns and Roses. I’ve believed in factory workers, counselors barely making minimum wage to assist AIDS patients and people that thought I was indeed as dumb as I looked. In all of these, except for the Guns and Roses thing, creativity played a major role. It made someone’s life better, stronger, richer or more complete.

I can’t tell you that I’ve enjoyed everything - but it has all added up to right now. And much like your accomplishment of a university degree, no one can take those experiences away. I’m thankful for that. Which brings me to the last lesson.

Lesson 3: Respect everyone.

Leave everything and everyone better than you found them.

That’s this planet, your colleagues, friends, parents and everyone in between. Somewhere today there’s a child being born that will seek your advice in 20 years. Be generous and overflowing with it. Remember, relationships matter. You’ll be amazed at how you will learn of opportunities. They may come from anywhere and anyone. You gain opportunities by sitting on your ego and listening far more than you talk. I realized God gave me two ears and one mouth, albeit big, for a reason. I need to listen twice as much as I talk. Push others, push yourself more. You’ve gotten here today because you focused on the possibilities. You figured the limitations would take care of themselves. You’re right! Continue to use that throughout your life.

I want you to do two things for me before you leave Greenville.

First, find a quiet spot and create a life list. Write down your most audacious goals. You’ll be embarrassed and it’ll feel weird but you’re the only one that will see them. Fold it and carry it with you all the time. I carry one. Every few years I update it. It will be a constant reminder of the time when you were not tethered by limitations. You’ll need encouragement from time to time. A life list will help. Remember, be bold. Be audacious.

The second thing I’d like for you to do is to stop. Soak in this moment.

Next week, you will be freshmen in the class of life. It’ll be scary, unfamiliar and overwhelming. Sort of the way you felt just a few short years ago when you walked onto this campus. You’ll face great times and you’ll face tough times. Like today, you’ll grow, overcome and move to the next challenge. You deserve your moment in the spot light. Live every single, last second of it today. I can’t tell you enough how important this achievement is for your parents, your family, friends and most importantly…you. You set a goal. You stuck to it and you finished.

And that…my fellow alumni…my BRAND NEW fellow alumni…is something you can be proud of.

Thank you. Make us proud.