Revenge of the Rubber Chicken

Tuesday June 06, 2006

The rubber chicken and gravy wasn’t what sent guests crawling to the swanky ballroom’s exits. “Rubber” at least implies some bounce. No, it was the monotony of the speeches, the set up, the whole stale scene at the industry meeting I recently attended that reduced the most prim and proper guests to bored kindergartners ready for recess.

Many PR pros make a good living off event management on the “rubber chicken circuit.” But few such events manage to feel really alive. While technology has shaken up the business of putting out messages, the business of putting on events largely remains stalled in the era of Model Ts.

Climbing out of this rut requires communications pros to rise above the basic planning details and engage guests in appealing themes and ideas. It means rediscovering your inner hunter and gatherer — using every scrap the environment provides. And it means reawakening your inner P.T. Barnum, too often lulled to sleep by corporate-speak and drudgery. Fortunately, many of the fixes are inexpensive.

Fire up your topic.

First, give your meeting more depth and urgency than simply being about a stated topic or “an update.” As in a good book, movie or commercial, a theme , a feeling should bubble under all the usual trappings. If sales is your topic and things have been rough, your theme might be courage in the face of adversity. The feeling you try to instill might be lust for adventure. And renewed commitment could be your ringing call to action.

Every event element should somehow prod your guests to engage in your topic/theme/feeling. What do they hear walking down the hall and entering the room? Snippets of inspiring speeches? Swing music? World beat? Chirping birds? Fill up their ears with something provocative.

Now think visual. A name tag table that contains only tags and no “key messages” is wasted real estate. And the name tag itself. If your keynote speaker is addressing, say, our health care crisis, issue tags with quick, heart-stopping statistics alongside each name.

Speakers are your stars.

Steven Spielberg’s not going to torpedo his reputation by putting out a picture in which the leading man mumbles through endless monologues. Yet many event managers appear to book speakers and then let them sink or swim.

At the very least, a booking should come with a precise time allotment and a primer on delivering the kind of speech that moves your crowd. Speakers should understand that if things are going long, a staffer will discreetly hold up a red paper, signaling them to quicken the pace.

It’s common for big meetings to come with large screens visible throughout the room. And, stunningly, it’s common that these screens project only what’s happening at the podium, i.e., someone’s head reading from a piece of paper. If you’re handing out awards, use the screens to project images capturing the honoree’s accomplishments. Better yet, use the screens to cut from the stage to video vignettes — the more entertaining, the better.

Create the right space.

Then there’s the set-up. Networking was the redeeming element of the conference described at the top. But the event managers paid this benefit little mind. The room was so crowded with tables that strolling over to greet a friend was likely to result in a tumble into some stranger’s soup.

If networking is your true draw, create a wide open space for mingling. Pepper the space with bar tables. Bring the feel of a cocktail reception right into your lunch. Plant your organization’s advocates throughout the room to facilitate new relationships and prompt on-point dialogue.

If you’re feeling really daring, allow guests to escape the tyranny of the corporate table by offering a mixed seating option. It’s deflating and pointless to get all dressed up for a fancy lunch only to sit down and realize — surprise! — you’re about to spend two hours with the same people you email and talk to ad nauseam every workday.

How’d you do?

But it’s worth staying up late before and after an event to make sure it’s as tight, engaging and on-message as any other communications tactic. If we don’t, some day our guests will revolt and serve us up like so much rubber chicken.

This article was originally published in the Triangle Business Journal and the American Chamber of Commerce Executives newsletter.