You’re Screwing With My Memories!
An Open Letter to Big-Time Television Advertisers
Quit the willy-nilly desecration of popular songs. In just one Monday night of couldn’t-care-less-to-see TV, I was hustled down musical memory lane by fool hardy pitchmen. They hocked all grades of things and tried to erase my sentimental memories in the process. Now, don’t get me wrong, I realize familiarity of a great song means bank to an advertiser. Audio branding can create a powerful memory from the sense of sound. But isn’t it stronger if the conceptual meaning of a song has more product relevance than just the passing chorus or familiar tune? After all, when taken purely at surface level, the words of a familiar chorus may have zip to do with the artist’s true meaning(Hello...”Puff the Magic Dragon”). It’s clear big-spending advertisers don’t agree.
Pizza Hut uses the Bee Gees’ 1977 chart topper “How Deep is Your Love” to schlep deep-dish pizza. Get it? DEEP DISH! How DEEP is your love? Whoa, slow down geniuses.
The abuse doesn’t stop with only one pizza chain. Rival Papa John’s is currently using The J. Geils Band’s “Centerfold.” Oddly, it’s only used as an instrumental. With no lyrics to tell the story of a man shocked to discover his childhood sweetheart is now a centerfold, will people born after 1981 get the clever tie-in? Oh, There’s a clever tie-in? Wait for it...mock photos flash to change scenes of...wait for it again...pizza! Get it? Pictures? Centerfold?Goodness! These people deserve a Cannes Lion.
Another commercial break brings more abuse. From my kitchen, I heard the chorus of the little known 1979 Joe Jackson tune, "One More Time." I immediately thought back to learning guitar riffs and how cool Jackson sounded even though he was pleading with an unrequited love to say, one more time, she doesn’t love him. I walk into my living room to see that my sweet memory is now pitching the limited-time return of Taco Bell’s Gordita! Sad. Very sad. I nearly dropped my Chalupa.
Taco Bell is also the most recent advertiser to use Devo’s “Whip It”–a song so widely licensed for products like Pringles and Twix to Gateway Computers, Donkey Konga and Swiffer; it’s brilliant. The new wave wunderkinds worked so hard to package themselves with irony and self-mock that the song always scores. Who would know if it didn’t? Some interpret the song as a paean to masturbation and sadomasochism or a reference to inhaling nitrous oxide.Furthering the irreverence, Devo leader Mark Mothersbaugh says it’s about Jimmy Carter. Advertising Age reported Devo agreed to re-record “Whip It” for Swiffer and change lyrics to "Swiff it Good!" because it was so absurd. Somehow I believe Mothersbaugh’s retooled post punk classic about an average Joe’s need to buckle up and overcome adversity was always part of their bigger money-making scheme. He’s that dang smart.
Then there’s Nice ‘n Easy singing the three word virtues of hair dye with disco’s love fest “(Got) To Be Real”, Viagra sacrificing Elvis’ classic with "Viva Viagra" and a bazillion Alltel ads proclaiming "Come And Get Your Love." That1974 one hit wonder from Redbone was this music nerd’s first K-Tel record.
So I wonder, why is this so out of control? Are advertisers so apathetic that creative dribble sounds like Nietzsche? Are creative teams so lazy they need to borrow others’ creative equity? Are artists less concerned with integrity in lieu of "trying to expand their audience?"
Let’s face it. This musical revolution started in 1987 with...well..."Revolution." The Beatles’ song made this Nike commercial effective and brilliant because it was so wrong and unexpected—just like the song. Paying a record (at the time)$250,000 to Capitol Records and Michael Jackson, Nike was able to be the first to license an actual Beatles recording. Most will remember it caused a huge backlash. Fans felt John Lennon would have objected, especially due to the controversy over Nike’s sweatshops. Paul McCartney protested, "Songs like‘Revolution’ don’t mean a pair of sneakers, they mean revolution." A tangle of lawsuits ensued.
Nike discontinued the "Revolution" ads after a year. Four years later Yoko Ono gave permission to use Lennon’s "Instant Karma" in another Nike ad. Karma indeed.
Just when I thought my favorite artists had collapsed dead at the feet of advertising gods, a lightening bolt of irony bursts through my TV. Royal Caribbean Cruise Line pounds out Iggy Pop’s 1977 hard charging, snarky "Lust For Life." Even though it’s not Iggy singing and lyrics were sanitized to be more cruise-ship friendly, the ode to drug culture bleats with the original ferocity of a smack-addled street junkie at the absolute depths of life. Screwing up every step of the way. Iggy Pop’s hard living, gritty persona and strutting, sexual machismo pound through defiant and strong. I recall the freedom and energy I felt when I first heard this song. I smirk thinking of the irony. I leap to my feet, pump my fist and growl, "Join me for shuffleboard and Mai-Tais on the Lido deck!"
Well,that’s like hypnotizing chickens.
Comments
So true, so true!!! Unfortunately I am one of the offenders. Remember the late 90's Burger King ads that featured flying food matched with popular 70's songs such as "You've got another thing coming" by Judas Priest?....Guilty.
I literally run to my set to mute Viva-Viagra everytime it plays. I mean ... effin-a man ... who came up with that? Fire the bastard.
I have to say I love the Wendy's commercial that shows a guy eating the competitor's Air Supply burger. The burger has a pull cord and sings Out of Nothing at All. www.youtube.com
Dang Anson! Now we know who to point to for the fall of civilization.
I saw the Gordita one again last night. Awwww Jeeeez.
Leave a Comment